Oh what a neck!

I couldn't believe my eyes as I looked in the mirror. Just 3 days after my first cycle of FCR triple therapy, I could see the contours of my jaw and the smoothness of my neck return for the first time in two years.

Then, I did the unthinkable. I took a selfie. If you ever scrolled through my social media, you would see, I don't do selfies of myself. Maybe its all the travelling I have done, watching endless tourists try to get the perfect shot - of themselves. Perhaps it's the obsessive teeny-boppers I see, everywhere, taking said selfies. Whatever it is, I don't ever do it - with one exception.

The truth is, I couldn't believe my own eyes and had to see it in a photo. There it was!! My mandibular surface straight to my chin - all palpable. No more heavy chipmunk chin, or beads of pearls (very large pearls) along both sides of my neck extending into my shoulders.

For the past six months or so, I haven't been able to hug anyone tightly. Unbeknownst to others, hugging scared me because I would often get electric jolts into my neck and shoulders, due to the hugger putting pressure on a lymph node overlying a nerve from my brachial plexus. They had no idea, but many times I would wince during a hug and just hope I could straighten my face in time for the end of our embrace.

Up until yesterday, from the time my nodes began to enlarge a year and a half ago in my head and neck, I haven't let anyone touch me from the shoulder up. That meant my massage therapist had to stop at my upper back and my boyfriend didn't touch my neck either. He said he didn't even notice my nodes, he's just that sweet.

Yesterday, as we walked along the ocean, my boyfriend just put his hand around the back of my neck. He didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. A part of me was back.

**written July 11, 2018