"The Harvest"

Many times over my life I've been in situations or circumstances that I had read about or heard others enduring, over and over again thinking to myself "I could never go through that." There are countless examples...losing a parent as a teenager, running a marathon, going to medical school, being diagnosed with cancer and now, undergoing fertility drugs to put my precious eggs on ice pre-chemo. I never, ever thought I would inject myself with hormones to hyper stimulate my ovaries in efforts to harvest my eggs. But,here I am again. It sounds like a farm chore, really. Egg harvesting?

Time and time again, I have done my best to tackle the many hurdles and I am hoping this will be no different. As I constantly weave through the spectrum of ongoing emotions since my diagnosis, I am now preparing for what I call "The Harvest." I never really had an affirmative answer when people asked if I wanted children. But, I knew for certain that it wasn't out of the question. Naturally, when I was told I had leukaemia and I would need chemo I thought - will I be allowed to have a child? Is this now a closed door? I'm grateful to have this option, as a safeguard and storage option. If there is one thing I know for sure, it's that the future is far too unknown to not be prepared.

Here I am, two appointments into The Harvest and just floundering in the unknown. Are there risks? Ofcourse. Am I going to be an emotional melodramatic wreck for a few weeks? Maybe. Is this all happening too fast? Definitely. But, sometimes you can't even imagine where your life actually leads next. Am I scared? Yeah. All of this is harder than I can articulate. There is one big decision after another. I miss not having to make potentially life altering decisions on a regular basis. What happened to worrying about the small decisions that needed to be made? I am hoping that making this massive decision will lead me to be grateful that I had the foresight to address this variable in my cancer journey. The rest I leave up to the universe for guidance and courage.

Here we go people - let The Harvest begin. I always was a gal who liked to put all of her eggs in one basket. This time I've decided to put them all in a freezer. Whats the diff.

#fertility #eggharvest #leukemia #theharvest #chemo